Cheney on Liberty

For those of you with strong ligaments of sardonic humor holding your funny bone together, I humbly offer the following:

My Dad was a major in the Army.  Thanks to him, when I was 18 I became eligible to use United Services Automobile Association (USAA) for my auto insurance.  As I got older I continued to use them not only for insurance, but banking and investing as well.  They're great.  Super service, super convenient.

Every November USAA sends out a calendar for the following year. Of course they're an organization originally formed to provide those super things (the benefits not the calendar) to servicemen and their families. So there are lots of pictures of war material and servicemen, etc., in the calendar.  

I honor the sacrifice, but I don't glory in the act.  I don't like having pictures of tanks stare back at me for whole months at a time. Pictures of warplanes make me think of dead children and dead soldiers and dead soldier's children.  But I kept it this year 'cause I needed a calendar.  I figured I'd just tear off the photos and keep the dates.  So that's what I did, starting with December.

Whoops.  

In the dead space, the otherwise innocent blank day-blocks that preceed December, I spy a quote from none other than that paragon of rectitude and righteousness, Vice President of the United States of America (and 5-time draft deferral champion), Dick Cheney:

"It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you."

Me:   "..."

First, I vomited in my mouth.  Then, it hit me like a thunderclap.  A revelation.  A Sacred and Holy insight of a clarity not seen in North America since Joseph Smith went out to pick some mushrooms and came home with a book of gold plates and a raging hard-on.  The clouds parted and a godly light shone down.  It all, suddenly, made perfect sense.

Now there are a host (pun intended) of snarky things you can say about that quote.  All of them might seem true.  Accurate.  Pellucid.  

At first.  

Here, my friends, is the revelation:  Everything Dick Cheney has done since becoming Vice President and de facto ruler of these United States has been done to help you appreciate your liberty.

When he feels that you no longer take it for granted, it will be returned to you.  

Feel better?  I know I do.  

I will now light myself on fire.